Define Action?

I was going to post something about my not being jobless and the common unprobability of my continued survival.

Also (maybe unfortunatly), the almost certaintude of my continuing at this job (barring any sudden HUGE drop in skill) for quite sometime as the other news and feature writer is leaving and I would imagine that keeping me around rather than making themsleves 100% writer free is the company's prefered course of action.

Anyway, was going to say all that but:

I set fire to a potato. With a microwave. It was potato coloured on the outside, and toasted black at the heart. Also there was a very great deal of smoke. Action was lept to. More or less.

It's emergencies like this where you learn what kind of man you are. So while everyone else fled the kitchen as the air turned grey and unbreatheable I carried the smoking potato-rock to the sink and drowned the bastard. Then turned on the extractor fan. Then put my beans in the microwave. As the fire alarm went off and others left to shut up the siren, I got some bread and fired up the toaster - if baked potato is outthe window (or technically underwater) I guess beans on toast is the only remaining dinner option.

Who am I?

I'm Doug (not Spiderman)