Be a man

Breaker breaker, this is the captain, come back, over

i got more dvds, smokey and the bandit, so awesome and it got me thinking
i figure manlyness is like a circle (stay with me it'll make sence eventually)
you have unmanly at one side (pink things, bridget jones' diary and sarah brooks over here) then you get more and more (hetrosexually) manly as you go round, finally you reach smokey and the bandit, magnum pi, and meat cooked over open flames with a beer in hand. but then, if you try and get any more manly you reach top gun, tom cruise and questionable sexuality and your atempts at manly ness just make you seem less so. to clarify im not saying this is bad, just not what i am after
you see using this method you have scientific evidence than burt reynolds and tom selleck are about as manly as hetrosexually possible, and you know what they have in common?



Thats right, moustaches!
just thought you'd all need to know that i'm upgrading my moustache from peach fuzz to fallen eyebrow status.
huzzar! it's a good day to have a y chromosome! check that, a great day

Everyone's getting Married!

its weird, ok?
it is definatly fantastic for them, exciting and grown up and all part of moving on and up with their lives and this is in no way saying any thing bad about them. seriously its a problem with me.
realistically i am a bit of a coward, definatly not grown up and as for moving on and up thats just not something i have learnt to do yet
i just aint extremely comfortable right now with people my age getting married.
it scares me, ok?
it's a comparitive thing,
them - settling down with partner, find house, make babies, live happy life
me - sitting by myself watching star wars, singing along (loudly and badly) to songs on my ipod, finding more to drink, no plans past next weekend
its the differences that surpise me more than anything.
it's almost like if i had just followed their paths i could be where they are, but really, really, really thats not me. everytime i hear/read/sence the words "getting married" i'm climbing the tallest thing in the room and talking a high pitched voice, fun but odd
and ok everyones not EVERYONE, but more than one person in my age grouping, not on the permiscuous side of things.
i'm a cowardly man
it's a level of understanding that i definatly havent reached, and no matter how much my omi asks why im not married with children at my age (seriously it did happen) its not in my near future, i guess im just odd

A (girl free) Valentines Day Story - but not gay

Just so you know there were alternative titles for this one, for a couple of minutes looking at everyone else's valentines day potential: boyfriends, girlfriends and hopefuls, I got pretty sad and you nearly got:
A depressing, grumpy and resentful valentines day,
or Happy valentines day muthaf***as

but in true it's a wonderful life style i got turned round on it, and so this story may actually be worth reading rather than just dismissing as me being a grumpy bugger.

I'm in southam (thats back home for those that dont know) I'm dog-sitting while my parents are off on holiday and my brother is visiting his girlfriend.
naturally the trip back was epic, tuesday being the first night since thursday where i was sleeping in the bed id slept in the night before (traveling from place to place you see) meaning im still pretty tired
i got online (the computer was being difficult so i was feeling pretty exhausted by then) and i see everyone being happy, now wether they are or not isnt important here im too busy feeling sorry for myself to care. so i go to blog and have a good bitch about being single coz i was planning on a blog anyway and i deside on calling this a depressing, grumpy and resentful valentines day, but i really want to check the spelling on resentful, so i got downstairs for the dictionary.
and i get down there i have two little jack russells sitting on the back of the sofa in the dark, and they're glad to see me. well, it fixed me i have the lights on, im still listening to girly music but im feeling a bit happier. yeah friends an all that but it's nice to have something that runs over to you when you walk into a room to say hello.
having a girlfriend would be nice on valentines day, someone to actually go out with and do something fun, they're pretty good to talk to as well, but friends can just about fill in for that and obviously there's this:

kinda need a girl around for that
but now i have 365 days to sort something out for next year
and im choosing to believe it, damn it

John-athon

so, my project has began, this is the big, many percents of my final mark project i hav til november, which sounded like ages but then we got told we need to put in 600 hours work, so if im not doing 2 hours a day im fallin behind.
for reference im doing teacher resourses for a chemistry comic book - sounds fun but theyre gonna make me work with kids again damn it
an it's 7500-10,000 words! TEN THOUSAND
ok so my notes waffle but thats a lot of words
i had a glimmer of hope when i saw last years had acknowledgements in them, i had a plan involving 2000 words worth of thanking every one who's name i could think of, but then the project leaders informed me (using the stern voice that always accompanies the use of my full name and which every woman seems to have built in) that my acknowledgements dont count toward the word totals.
damn. 6750 (coz 10% either way sounds fair) to go
of course to kick off my project in style john came to visit. for those who dont know john went to uni with me and was the first of our group to drop out due to booze/not going to lectures/booze.
as my visit home has been dubbed the dougathon by chris it seemed fitting (an accidentally amusing) that this be dubbed the johnathon.
in which we drank lots
an watched DOA or alive, district 13, crank, superman returns, 2001, predator, children of men, an easy rider
thats two distopian futures, one distopian past, two plotless action films, girls in bikinis, a man in tights, and a drug trip where nothing much happens but at least its pretty.
i also found a list of amusingly titled country songs (many of which ive already heard), i love that theyre trying to say something quite sweet and they end up sounding crazy, i can relate - just ask anyone i went to high school with
read these and think of me
At The Gas Station Of Love, I Got The Self Service Pump - is this veiled ennuendo or just a miserable cowboy?
Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life - gotta love the religious touch
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling - aww so sad
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me - gross, but theres emotion there, i could of said this in earnist
I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine. - subtle but so clever, my favourate
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart - tractor puns, i doesnt get better than this unless its the previous one
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart - reminds me i really should be working on my project
well im off to pretend im a cowboy with six shooters an a horse, ev'nin' ma'am

I'm gonna be needing new trousers

Scared the crap outta me. Absolutly scared the crap outta me.
You know those ads down the side of facebook, theres one for downloadable smileys they have new 'valentines day ones'.
i need to take you back in time 45 mins. I watched a creepy episode of justice league (its a cartoon with batman and superman in) there was the joker and he had this girl with him and she, (say this in your creepyist scary man voice) "makes you go crazy just by looking at her" anyway i procieded to watch through my hands just incase i went crazy (didnt - yay)
so i go online see whats up on facebook and accdientally roll over this ad for valentines day smileys and this makes it say (in your creepy voice again) "im counting down the minutes til i can be with you again"
SCARED THE CRAP OUTTA ME i didnt realise what it was, an it was absolutely bloody terrifying
how is that a happy valentines day?
how?
i love you so much heres the creepyist thing on the internet?
IT SCARED THE CRAP OUTTA ME - thats not good valentines day practice
its a gooey 'holiday' fulla mushy stuff. not me going into ninja mode ready to be sliced up by the killer behind my computer
not the thing to do
ill be staying away from facebook an only logging on when i have a heavy stick with me (for smacking anything scary) if you need to contact me email at doug@underthecovers.coward
so watch out valentines day psycho smileys are after us all